As an Emotional Intelligence Practitioner, I am regularly asked – ‘What is the most important Emotional Intelligence (EI) skill to develop?’ or, ‘Which EI skill should I focus on first?’ My answer is always the same; Self-awareness.

Self-Awareness is a fundamental skill of emotionally intelligent behaviour. Without creating a deeper understanding of our own levels of Self-Awareness, it is near impossible to enhance any of the other EI skills.

So what is Self-Awareness?

Self-Awareness is the skill of being able to recognise, in the moment;

What you are feelingWhy you are feeling it, and most importantly,Is what I am feeling right now going to help or hinder me?

Am I Self-Aware?

Many of the people I coach will tell me that they consider themselves self-aware. The reality can actually be quite different. According to Dr Travis Bradberry, co-author of Emotional Intelligence 2.0; ‘Only 36 percent of the people we’ve tested are able to accurately identify their emotions as they happen. This means that two thirds of us are typically controlled by our emotions and are not yet skilled at spotting them and using them to our benefit.’

How do I enhance my Self-awareness?

The first aspect to recognise is that emotions are a source of important information for us. We do not need to consider emotions as being good or bad, right or wrong. When considering our emotions, we should ask ourselves; is this emotion helping or hindering me at this moment? If the emotion you are experiencing is not going to help you at that moment, you can consciously decide to shift that emotion. By way of example, consider the strong emotion of rage. Rage is unlikely to be appropriate or able to help you while driving your car or during an interaction in a meeting. However, if you are in a life threatening situation, then rage may be the emotion that enables you to save your life or the lives of others.

Try these strategies

Practice self-reflection regularly

Once a week, sit down with pen and paper and write all the emotions you recall feeling in the last 24 hours. The most important aspect of this exercise is to not judge the emotions you experienced. Simply ask yourself, did that emotion help or hinder me at that time?

Feel your emotions physically

Particularly when you notice emotions that could be perceived as negative; such as stress, frustration or worry, stop and consider what is occurring in your body at that time. Are your fists or jaw clenched? Are your shoulders tight or your brow furrowed? By taking the time to do this, you will soon recognise your emotions 'in the moment' before you may have been conscious of these feelings

Interested in learning more?

Would you like to develop your own emotional intelligence or the EI of your team members or organisation? Then feel free to contact me (Rachel) by email at Rachel Moore Consulting –rachel@rachelmconsulting.com.au

I am an experienced Emotional Intelligence Practitioner, Trainer and Coach. I work with individuals and teams to develop their self-management and relationship management skills allowing them to improve their professional performance and career success.

Working with individuals to develop and enhance their Emotional Intelligence capabilities has allowed me to observe remarkable growth in both their professional and personal lives. Emotional Intelligence is well recognised as being a key factor in career success. Various studies and books on this topic lay claim to it having a greater impact on success than IQ alone.

What is Emotional Intelligence and why does it matter?

Emotional Intelligence (EI) is not some ‘corporate fad’ and while the phrase has been popularised by Daniel Goldman in his book, ‘Emotional Intelligence: Why it can matter more than IQ’ published in 1995, the skills of emotional intelligence have been valued for many generations with Charles Darwin publishing a book in the 1870’s on the role of emotional expression in survival and adaption (‘The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals’ 1872).

So how can we define Emotional Intelligence (EI)?

There are many definitions to describe this intelligence, with one of the clearest being; ‘A set of skills that define how effectively you perceive, understand, reason with and manage your own and others’ feelings’ (source: GENOS International).

What are these skills and how many are there?

Well there are a few! Models that I have worked with and researched have detailed anywhere from 4 to 20 distinct EI skills or competencies. While the models and the language used to describe these skills do vary, it is my view that EI skills can be grouped under four broad categories:

Self-AwarenessAwareness of othersSelf-ManagementInfluencing others

What is the difference between EI and EQ?

You may have heard the terms EI and EQ (Emotional Quotient) used interchangeably and wondered what, if any, is the difference? A simple delineation between the two would be that EQ (Emotional Quotient) refers to the measure of an individual’s innate emotional intelligence, similar to an IQ level, while EI refers to their demonstrable behaviours. While I wouldn’t say that I have a strong preference, I do favour a focus on EI when it comes to individual development.

A study by Multi-Health Systems Inc. Canada of about 4000 people (men and women) found that Emotional Quotient increases from your late teens, levels off in your early 40’s and then drops slightly past the age of 50. With this in mind, a question that springs to mind is - Can your Emotional Intelligence and therefore your Emotional Quotient be developed outside this norm? My opinion is that it can!

In coming articles I will be focusing on practical and proven strategies that if implemented and practiced I believe will enhance your own emotional intelligence and potentially that of those close to you.

Interested in learning more about your own emotional intelligence or developing the EI of your team members or organisation, or do you have something in particular you would like to learn about?

Then please feel free to contact me (Rachel) by email at Rachel Moore Consulting –rachel@rachelmconsulting.com.au

I am an experienced Emotional Intelligence Practitioner, Trainer and Coach who works with individuals and teams to develop their self-management and relationship management skills allowing them to improve their professional performance and career success.